Dreaming of my dead ex boyfriend..?

okay so i had a boyfriend named felix in the 8th grade.. he was my first love (i know that's young but it was very serious & real) we loved each other a lot and were basically best friends.. we lasted a whole year but after that i left him for someone that i only liked :( yeah i regret that. well he tried numerous times to get me back & i used to shoo him away kind of. there would be nights where he would call drunk telling me how much he loved me.. i would cry because i felt so bad. fast forward about 8 or 9 months.. he called me one summer night & we talked for so long about old memories & how much we missed each other.. planned on starting back up. he said he was gonna come see me the next day & he did but i wasn't expecting him that early so i told my aunt to tell him i was still in bed & he called like "nena (baby) i'm outside your house" i told him i was still sleep/in bed come back later.. i think it hurt his feelings since it had been so long. well about 5 days later i found out he had been missing from home & was found dead behind someone's house. no one knows who shot him =/ i still feel like it's my fault because i could've prevented the whole thing.. now as for my dreams that i have: i can't remember them all but he always has on the same thing (maybe it was his last outfit idk) he always looks at me with this mysterious/dreamy eyed look. in one dream i was in an elevator with someone & there was a sign that said 'missing' with his picture & i remember seeing blood.. in another dream i was at a gas station standing outside, someone came up behind me & wrapped their arms around me - automatically i knew it was him.. & it felt so real like he was really holding me.. as i turned around it was him & started crying so i woke up & there were REAL tears already down my face.. it was very weird & scary. the last dream i had about him, we were on a porch of a white house.. this time he had on all white. i was so happy & excited, he was too but still strong-minded. my mom was there & said "she really loves you felix, she still does.." his reply was a big smile & he said "i know... i know she does & i love her too" i got soooo excited & said "you do? you hear me talking to/thinking about you almost everyday?!" he said "yes.... all the time." with the most realistic look into my eye & smiled. i started crying & ran to the car (idk why) maybe i didn't want him to see me cry? when i woke up i cried so hard because i miss him & i need to know if he forgives me :'( someone please help me.. does this mean he's always around & watching over me? & is he mad about my new serious boyfriend or happy for me?